While it is difficult to capture in a few sentences the breadth of work accomplished in therapy, below are some examples of people I have helped create easier, more meaningful ways of being in their lives. These clients, whose names have been changed to protect their confidentiality, wanted their stories told because they thought it might help others.
I believe that non-traditional relationships (e.g., same-sex, transgendered, polyamorous, living together) are just as valid as traditional heterosexual marriage. If you are living a non-traditional lifestyle, I respect that lifestyle and will help you with whatever issues you have. It is important to me that people feel accepted so they can work on their own issues without a therapist passing judgment on them.
I recommend that when you are looking for a therapist, make sure to find an accepting one. You want to work on the issues you have, not on the issues a therapist may have with your lifestyle.
Leah Finds Inner Peace and Acceptance
Leah was a confused college student, struggling with internal conflicts between her religious upbringing and sexual orientation. She had always been attracted to women, but repressed her feelings because homosexuality was taboo in her strict Christian family. Instead, Leah participated in unfulfilling relationships with men. Lonely and full of self-loathing, she finally sought therapy. Being able to talk about her feelings without fear of reprisal and explore her unanswered questions, allowed her to come to her own conclusions. She found conviction in her belief that God made her who she was intentionally. She came to believe that an alternative lifestyle was not wrong. She sought out new friends and was eventually able to talk to her parents about her choice in partners.
A Couple Learns To Communicate
After 8 years of living together, Patty and Amanda found their once happy relationship quickly dissolving. Lack of communication, respect, and trust, left the couple feeling their relationship was doomed. Patty was an ambitious professional who always put her career over quality time with Amanda. Amanda was an artist who preferred a simple life, valuing her time with friends and family. Eventually, Amanda grew to resent Patty's ambition. As their communication broke down, alcohol-fueled arguments escalated. In therapy, Patty and Amanda practiced “critical asking” to understand their partner's wants and needs. They developed fundamental trust and listening skills. Soon they were able to communicate their feelings more effectively and began finding solutions that worked for both of them. Eventually they realized it was more important to be kind than to be right, and they rediscovered the qualities they loved in each other.
